The unexpected turns into the anticipated...

Hello world.

I just came by to say that almost a year after graduation, I can honestly say I am content. It's been freaking crazy - and sometimes freaking awful - but I've got a great job, awesome friends, a sweet place in Philly (come April), and I'm going to Atlantic City for the weekend.

Really, life could be worse...

So despite the bumps & bruises, I'm grateful for this ride.
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    but always looking for more...

An Almost Truth Day

I'm making one of those LJ posts where you post anonymously.

Tell me anything so long as it's true, don't leave your name, and play nice (please with a cherry on top).

Wow. As much as this is sort of messing with my head, I'm glad I posted it. Thank you. Thank you for being honest. I hope to hear more.

EDIT #2:
Now I really want to know who some of you are.

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    that kills cats, thanks
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(no subject)

think of starvation:
in every sense of the word.


"well you could have fooled me, you know, that you feel - that you feel anything!" - joan, PLAYING BY HEART


i will need to do some serious reflection here (cuz what else would i do on the verge of a life change?) but for now i will just write this:

+ i am excited at the prospect of evolution.
(and all that goes along with that: meeting new people, spending a lot of time in a city i adore, finding a place to live in said city, making my way in a new universe.)

+ i will also not surrender writing any time soon or fucking ever for that matter.
(i have so many new ideas swimming around, i just haven't been able to grab hold one to put it on the page. i've got one right now i have to write about on real paper...)

+ i am coming to some new territory with my past and myself in general. i might have to go back to school for psychology someday and become a therapist.

+ along with that, i am realising the power of my strength.

+ i am also still considering graduate school in the future, but i am finally accepting my life without academia in it right now.

+ however, given that i will soon be employed by an academic publisher, i may indeed get my fill of it one way or another.

+ i have finished all my christmas shopping officially and am pleased with my creativity in gifts this year.

+ tonight i am going to start celebrating by going to pf chang's china bistro with my dear parents. this weekend, i am up for anything and everything.

+ i will end my time at this job on dec. 9th and then i am taking a full week off. i am planning to make some visits. let me know if you want in.

+ i think i have remembered what it is like to be me when i am happy.


I haven't been public lately. Still working, still saving, still interviewing. Other aspects of life have been subject to change, but that's not why I'm out here today.

I just went and read some old entries, mostly circa 2003. The one post that really got to me was the "letters to many johns." The way I perceived my friends, people I loved is still very much the same and yet so radically different I wonder who they are (& who I am).

And there are a few who have dropped off the radar for various reasons and I still miss them. I think I miss who they were then, not so much them as people overall. Or maybe, as I said before, the way I perceived them.

There are these times that I could just live in forever:
Running across streets, sitting in restaurants, flying to other countries, getting lost, driving at all hours of the night, drinking one too many glasses of wine, holding hands in the winter, swimming in the summer, everything.

I am lucky enough to say I had about three different families during the last few years. I had the Acorn family which has evolved but the ones I love the most are still here. I had the eclectic gay/lesbian family that started my freshman year and radically altered but no one else could have gotten me through some of those times. And finally, I had the family I created at the end of the world - senior year. (Yes, that was a deliberate homage to A HOME AT THE END OF THE WORLD.) The most unexpected people from the most unexpected places.

Even with my losses, I've still come out smiling. Somehow...

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    U2 - Elvis Presley and America (stuck in my head)